Getting Deleted from other people's FB (and MySpace) Friends Lists

The other day I happened upon some pics on Facebook where a couple old high school chums that are current FB friends were tagged. But when I checked out the photos, I realized they had been posted by another classmate who, once-upon-a-time, was one of my FB friends, but now was not. Basically, he had "un-friended" me and I wasn't aware of it.

I know people delete "friends" all the time. In fact, after being on MySpace and Facebook for several years, I had gotten to the point where I didn't give it much thought. But, in the earlier days I would take it "personally". Like, "What did I do to piss them off?" and such.

Over time I learned that I removed people for various reasons, ranging from people I was not on good terms with (ex-lovers, maybe) to people that never seemed to have any connection to me in the first place. And if I don't notice the status change, then we probably didn't have all that much to do with each other to begin with. So, no harm, no foul.

So, in this latest instance, it was pretty much the same. I have no idea when "Mitch" deleted me. It could have been months ago. And I notice my friend count dropping and then returning periodically anyway--so I just figure it's people de-activating, the re-activating their accounts...because you can do that in FB. And with over 200 "friends" on FB (not a large number in the grand scheme of things) it's a bit hard to tell who is still there and who is not. So I don't usually think about it. I'd only get concerned if one of my closer friends disappeared. From the user standpoint, all that happens is that a certain "friend" disappears from one's own list. They could have de-activated or canceled their account. But if you can still find their profile, or see posts they make on mutual friends' walls, then you know they deleted you from their list.

The irony about "Mitch" was that I didn't even remember him from high school, not by name, at least. I don't think we had any classes together, except maybe P.E. at some point. When he first did a friend request, I didn't accept him--as I had no idea what our connection was. So I messaged him back and asked who he was. He explained that he was trying to "friend" everyone in our graduating class. Through him I found a whole bunch of other people--who are all still on my friends list. So I got to give the guy props for that. And we are still "mutual friends" of all of them, so...the only person he deleted (amongst that group) was me.

I wonder why?

(But I'm not losing any sleep about it. Honestly.)

So why am I writing about it? I don't know. Something to muse upon, I suppose.

I've been trying to practice The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, and there are a couple that readily apply to my "curiosity" in this instance.

Agreement #2: Don't take anything personally.

I'm not "upset" by Mitch deleting me, but I must have some sort of "attachment" around it, or else I wouldn't even be writing any of this, or thinking the thoughts which inspired me to write. So, on some level, I must be taking this "personally".

Then there is Agreement #3: Don't make assumptions.

Try as I might, I find myself wondering--are my spiritual quotes or occasional pro-entheogenic postings getting under Mitch's born-again Christian skin? I have other born-again FB friends, and while some are willing to discuss our differences of religion, most folks prefer not to discuss such matters. Or maybe Mitch was just doing some "house-cleaning" and was deleting people he had no real relationship with. And aside from some mutual friends, we really didn't have much in common. We never wrote on each other's wall or commented on each other's posts. Nothing happening there, at all, ever.

So it's fine. When I finally saw a picture of Mitch from high school, I remembered him. We were not buds. But we weren't friends either. Whether he was a "stoner" or not, that's how I saw him in those days. Ironically, I had a reputation for being a "Jesus Freak" in high school, even thought that period was confined to junior high. Little did most of my old Oxford Junior High School friends know that I was experimenting with marijuana and hawaiian woodrose seeds from 10th grade on....and more exotic stuff once I got to university.

I'm "at peace" with it all, and only write about it to share my "process" of wondering, projecting, etc. These are things we all do, in a flash of an eye, without even being aware that we are doing it. Part of my growth process focuses on become more and more conscious, period, and consequently, more conscious of judging and projecting.

It's interesting stuff.

And Mitch, if you happen to come across this: Thanks! Even though we weren't friends in high school, your initiative helped me find a number of friends from those days.

Namaste.